This blog is a tribute to the show Seinfeld which simultaneously taught me everything I need to know and nothing at all – it is a show about nothing, after all.

Years ago I tried to make it a requirement for all friends and co-workers to watch Seinfeld  but some of my very closest friends dislike the show (blasphemy!)  despite my constant (daily!) references. So I have to share this love (obsession) with other like minded people.

So if you like Seinfeld, this blog is going to make you giggle; if you love Seinfeld this blog will likely make you laugh right out loud. And if you’re a friend of mine who looks confused when I burst out with a pearl random quote or scene description,  you can use this blog as a reference guide.

Now for  rants, raves, and wisdom…

Relationship etiquette

1. Simple, honest pick up lines work best: “Hi, my name is George, I’m unemployed and I live with my parents”

2. Men will say anything to date a woman:

George: Elaine, I once told a woman that I coined the phrase, “Pardon my French.”

Jerry: I once told a woman that I don’t eat cake ‘cause it goes right to my thighs.

George: I once told a woman that I really enjoy spending time with my family.

3. Make a break up easier by taking responsibility: “it’s not you, it’s me”.

4. It takes 2 to break up:

Maura: I refuse to give up on this relationship. It’s like… launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.

George: well then, I’m gonna have to ask you to turn your key. Turn your key, Maura. Turn your key!!

5. And breaking up doesn’t always stick the first time: “breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”

6. Sex can save a friendship

Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.
Jerry: You’re serious?
Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.
Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

7. There are well established rules to dating. Don’t mess with them. Examples:

Spending the night is optional – and other rules — leads to “I want this, that, AND the other”

The roommate switch is not possible and might lead to a very uncomfortable situation

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