Memorandum # 7
To: All cats
Effective date: immediately
It has been brought to executive management’s attention that you have engaged in loud, hysterical meowing during the early morning hours. While we encourage all members of the faculty (i.e. family) to express themselves, we must insist – if not demand — quiet voices during sleeping hours.
Effective immediately loud meowing will be permitted between the hours of 8am and 8pm. Please refrain from meowing outside of these hours unless you are notifying management of a dangerous situation. Please note that dangerous situations do not include annoyance with the dog, a desire to be fed prior to 8am, or a demand to be let outside at any time.
If you must express yourself after 8pm and before 8am you are welcome to do so in the confines of the basement.
Failure to adhere to this new rule will be considered a violation of this memo. To understand what happens when you violate a memo please refer to Office Space.
We appreciate your assistance in this matter,
Executive Management (Jill & Josh)
Executive Management in training (Marlee and Lila Pearl)
P.S. We know you try to be extra cute when in trouble. Cuteness weighted against lack of sleep? You’re not going to win that one!