Kitchen Nightmare

The kitchen is the heartbeat of our household. Depending on who is cooking it’s where magic or disaster happens.

The Chaotic Kitchen: Managed by woman-who-never-learned-to-properly-cook (Me)

Step 1. Open the refrigerator at least 5 times hoping dinner will miraculously appear. This is the first sign of trouble: fully cooked meals are more likely to be found on the stove top or in the oven.

Step 2. Accept responsibility to cook dinner. Sigh…

Step 3. Find something simple to cook. Wish again that dinner will somehow appear without me dicing, slicing, or sautéing. Ask myself if I can afford a personal chef (the answer is no).

Step 4. Prep food. Find solutions for seemingly simple dilemmas like “can I substitute garlic and onion if the recipe calls for shallots?”. Seems risky. Opt to leave them out (and let’s not talk about the time I couldn’t remember the difference between scallions and chives.)

Step 5. Cook. If you can call it that.

Step 6. Yell at kids for being too close to knives and hot objects. Feel good it took this long to scold them.

Step 7. Smoke alarm goes off. What’s on fire? Dinner. Dinner is on fire. Must decide: save dinner or run around like a crazy person opening all windows and doors.

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