- You never miss an episode even though the show went off the air 15 years ago.
- You think it’s not possible to watch too much of, or talk too much about, Seinfeld.
- You get angry if anything interferes with Seinfeld (damn BASEBALL).
- You reference the show daily.
- You start a conversation with “helllloooo [fill in person’s name]”, gloss over juicy details with “yada yada yada”, and end with “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
- When surprised, you yell “GET OUT” and shove someone.
- You’ve left a meeting on a high note.
- You have at least one pet named after a Seinfeld character.
- When someone says, “you’ll never believe what so-an-so named their kid” you excitedly reply “SEVEN?!?” (One time I did this and my non-Seinfeld friends looked at me in bewilderment. In fact, the baby’s name was Seven.).
- You make it a requirement for friends, family, and coworkers to watch Seinfeld reruns so they understand what you’re talking about.
- Anytime a friend needs advice you find a solution by referencing Seinfeld. Whether they are a fan or not.
- If your kids complain about the food you served them, you yell “NO SOUP FOR YOU”
- You know that soup does not qualify as a meal.
- You’ve called a lover “shmooopie”.
- When upset you yell “SERENITY NOW”.
- When someone yells “SERENITY NOW” you respond “Serenity now, Insanity Later”
- When dating someone new you evaluate if they are sponge worthy.
- You’ve pretended to be an architect.
- Need to come up with a name on the spot? Art Vandalay.
- You can say “Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff” really fast.
- You celebrate Festivus.
- You call friends and family to wish them a Happy Festivus.
- You’ve tried to make a donation to the Human Fund.
- Your password is bosco.
- If someone tells you a secret you put it in the vault.
- When life isn’t going well you try the opposite.
- You call someone breathtaking in a way that leaves them uncertain if it’s a compliment or an insult.
- You purchased a house simply because it has levels.
- You didn’t need to be told that the conversation in the last scene of the last episode is the same one as the first scene in the first episode.
- You blog about Seinfeld. More than once.
- You are still reading this blog.
- You didn’t want this blog to end.
- But it did. Add your own signs of Seinfeld addiction in the comments.
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You enter the room/house of your neighbor in a really crazy kinda slide…?