Signs you are a Seinfeld Addict

  • You never miss an episode even though the show went off the air 15 years ago.
  • You think it’s not possible to watch too much of, or talk too much about, Seinfeld.
  • You get angry if anything interferes with Seinfeld (damn BASEBALL).
  • You reference the show daily.
  • You start a conversation with “helllloooo [fill in person’s name]”, gloss over juicy details with “yada yada yada”, and end with “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
  • When surprised, you yell “GET OUT” and shove someone.
  • You’ve left a meeting on a high note.
  • You have at least one pet named after a Seinfeld character.

    Meet Newman.

    Meet Newman

  • When someone says, “you’ll never believe what so-an-so named their kid” you excitedly reply “SEVEN?!?” (One time I did this and my non-Seinfeld friends looked at me in bewilderment. In fact, the baby’s name was Seven.).

  • You make it a requirement for friends, family, and coworkers to watch Seinfeld reruns so they understand what you’re talking about.
  • Anytime a friend needs advice you find a solution by referencing Seinfeld. Whether they are a fan or not.
  • If your kids complain about the food you served them, you yell “NO SOUP FOR YOU”
  • You know that soup does not qualify as a meal.
  • You’ve called a lover “shmooopie”.
  • When upset you yell “SERENITY NOW”.
  • When someone yells “SERENITY NOW” you respond “Serenity now, Insanity Later”
  • When dating someone new you evaluate if they are sponge worthy.
  • You’ve pretended to be an architect.
  • Need to come up with a name on the spot? Art Vandalay.
  • You can say “Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff” really fast.
  • You celebrate Festivus.
  • You call friends and family to wish them a Happy Festivus.
  • You’ve tried to make a donation to the Human Fund.
  • Your password is bosco.
  • If someone tells you a secret you put it in the vault.
  • When life isn’t going well you try the opposite.
  • You call someone breathtaking in a way that leaves them uncertain if it’s a compliment or an insult.
  • You purchased a house simply because it has levels.
  • You didn’t need to be told that the conversation in the last scene of the last episode is the same one as the first scene in the first episode.
  • You blog about Seinfeld. More than once.
  • You are still reading this blog.
  • You didn’t want this blog to end.
  • But it did. Add your own signs of Seinfeld addiction in the comments.

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One thought on “Signs you are a Seinfeld Addict

  1. Paula kibbe says:

    You enter the room/house of your neighbor in a really crazy kinda slide…?

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