Is there any dating that is more awkward than mommy-dating? Mommy-dating has all the fears and strangeness of “regular dating” with the added complexities of (1) the main thing you have in common is your kids (2) there are more people affected by the relationship than just you and the other mom. Namely, the kids. And also the husbands / partners / significant others.
Mommy dating is similar to regular dating in some ways —
First there’s interest. The moment you realize you have something in common with another mom. When small talk gives way to meaningful conversations that bypass bottle feeding, potty training, or soccer practice.
Then there’s the moment of “what do I do next”? Do we get together? With the kids? With the husbands? What’s the protocol here? And how do I suggest getting together without being totally awkward?
When you get together – especially if it’s a mommy only outing – it really starts to feel like dating again. Thoughts drift through your mind like:
- Where should we go? What should we do?
- What should I wear? What if she isn’t a yoga-pant-Birkenstock-wearing mommy like me? Or the reverse: what if she shows up wearing yoga pants and Birkenstocks. She wouldn’t go OUT like that, would she?
- What if we run out of things to talk about? Maybe I should have a list prepared a-la Costanza.
- What if she complains about her kids and I get all preachy? (That thing I do where I try to solve every problem? I especially do that when it comes to parenting. )
- What if she says something really outrageous? What if *I* say something outrageous?
At least at the end of the date you don’t have to wonder “should I kiss her”? but you might wonder if a hug is okay. If you had a few glasses of wine this thought will not enter your head. (Suggestion: drink wine!)
After the mommy date you might start to wonder:
- Does the 3-day rule apply (you know, the one where you don’t contact your date for 3 days post-date?)
- Do we become friends on Facebook? Follow each other on twitter? Follow each other on Pinterest…the list is endless. All seem pretty stalkerish except for FB.
- Should we get together again?
There are long term considerations too. What if you become friends and one day your kids don’t want to play together? Worse: what if you become friends, break up, and your kids still want to hang out? AWKWARD!
The only type of dating that seems more anxiety-ridden is when your kid is engaged and you attempt to befriend the parents of his or her fiancée.
That’s a blog for (approximately) 20 years from now.
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